Giving up

I like to write for publication. The publication gives me a sustainably high level of self esteem and confidence, plus appropriate recognition to the job too. This is one of my many cases of writing. Only this case does not give me a sense of satisfaction or pleasant feeling - up to this time.

I have been writing this paper with a sour feeling and a great difficulty. The feeling is most likely due to a belief that I am forced to write, I am not fairly treated and this particular person is simply taking full advantage on me - as he did last time. This is my own belief, anyway.

I finally get the paper done last night and reviewed it this morning. It took all my day, only to found out that the website where the paper should be sent cannot be accessed. Ideally, I should have completed all the processes myself, writing, editing, formatting, sending for publication, correcting, resubmitting, getting published.

Being me, I dialed and dialed the website address for about 2 hours hoping that a miracle would happen and I can get rid of this paper - with a good feeling.

But it never happened. I decided to give up now - I don't want to see it anymore. I am giving up the unpleasant and uncomfortable feeling.

I may not the ideal me this time - one who always get things done once I started.

But, giving up from the unpleasant and uncomfortable feeling is the other part of being an 'ideal' normal person, I suppose.

So, I emailed the below

Attached is the completed paper. I cut it and re-write it according to the requirements of the Asian Journal of Psychiatry.Do read and edit the paper. As you want to be the corresponding author - you better register and submit the paper online using your own ID so that they can contact you directly from now on. Would appreciate if you let me know if the paper is accepted.

And I texted the below:

"The paper is ready, formatted and written according to the requirements. Please sent it online to Asian Journal of Psychiatry as a corresponding author"

No salutation.
No good wishes
No thank you.

and the messages are to a Professor.

I know quite definitely he can sense that I am not happy with him

I will only be this rude when I feel people are just being too much
everything feels so wrong