self-fighting

I wanted to write my thesis today - 8 hours

took my breakfast and bus to uni.
brought myself arnotts choc mud biscuits, banana muffins, water, mentos
promised myself a lunch treat at Knoodle.

Here I am at the library sitting in front of the PC.
I wrote 3 sentences - constant struggle
It's cold - the air-cond. right on my face
I hate it
Why should I feel cold in this summer!
I can't write - I am shivering
My sentences are suck - I hate myself.
I'm feeling sleepy & tired - I can't do it more.
I am useless

Got up from my chair
Took my book and went into the Quiet-Study Area
I can't write - I better read
Theories for Chapter 2
Here is nicer - it is not too cold
But I must get back to that cold PC
Read 6 small pages
I am bored again
How to incorporate these into my thesis
They are not connected - as I see now
I'm feeling sleepy & tired - I can't do it more.

How if I sleep for 5 minutes
No, I can't
My mind wanders around
I must be writing by now
What the girl next to me would say about me?
I hate myself (again)

I got a call
Its Saif from Sydney wishing me Happy Birthday for the second time
I am walking out of library
Finish talking
Went straight to Uni Bookshop
"May I have a look at that Polar Fleece S size please"
Put it on and looked at the mirror - Great
Now I have a good reason to grab this AUD49.95 UniSA sweater
that I wanted for so long
(though it also means I can't pay my electricity bill today)

I will do anything I could
Whatever it takes
So that I can write

And now I am here again
Heat and comfy in my new Polar Fleece

.....Writing my blog :)