Emotional accounts

It was only when I read my Along's recent entry (after a long time) that I feel the need to write one in mine. I have postponed writing mine - a week after another - for a lame excuse of being 'busy'. Along's was touchy - narrating his memory with Allahyarham Yusuf Mamak - a friend of him whom I know nothing about. Despite that, I am teary - and I know it is because his writing is deep from his heart.

In deed, I have more than enough 'reasons' to write. In these few months, so many things happen around me - so much of emotions involved. Those will go just like that if I do not put an effort to process the feelings around it - at least in form of written words. Eventually, the emotions associated with the events - be it sweet or bitter - will just be forgotten as if they have never happened. What a waste!

Knowing what to write about does not necessarily mean knowing how to write it down. I realize that most of my emotions are still a private possession of mine. Being a psychologist for a year now still does not give me a privilege of being 'the open book' type of person. I am still 'over-conscious' of 'what this and that person would feel when he and she reads the writing'. I guess the uncertainty is reasonable to some extent since I do have a dream to open this blog to public sooner or later InsyaAllah.

Taking a minimal, calculated risk - as I always do - I decided to jot down the following - simply for my own future emotional references.

Alhamdulillah, within this few months, Allah blesses me with the following:

* A pleasant, smooth-sailing, warmth engagement party of mine on 22 September 2009/ 3 Syawal 1430. The best thing was having my big family gathered after a long time. I realized on that very day how much all of them love me all this while. To my dear family, thankyou for making me the happiest daughter, sister, auntie, and granny.

* I am now a fiancee' of a nice and kind guy whom I know no more than a year now. I feel and experience the Greatness of Allah's wills - Who decides and owns everything. I am so much blessed that we are doing well, and our family are receptive about having us together.

* I am indebted to my special sister's unconditional, infinite love to me. Despite struggling with her issues, she tries very hard to still be with me - as she always do. I hope one of our prayers will be soon responded by Allah.

* To rekindle my one and only friendship with Fareen on the 6th October 2009/ 17 Syawal 1430. I am blessed that Allah opens our heart during the meeting. I leave the rest to Allah.

Oh my... the list can be longer, but now I feel like to stop here, and that's exactly what I will do.